Things I did NOT do, maybe

I LOVE Easter and LOVE all of the things we did to celebrate this past weekend, but I have to say that I was e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d come Monday.  So, here are a few of the things I most certainly did not (ahem) do this week (*wink, wink*).  Of course this week meaning Monday and Tuesday since today is only Wednesday.

I most certainly did NOT allow my older kids to sleep in until 9:30 and cash in on some extra snuggle time with L in order to avoid this:

I also did not have to use this to clean the above dishes since I had already been to the store twice and forgot both times to buy dish detergent.  (By the way- it worked great!!  If, that is, I actually did this.)

I absolutely didn't put clean clothes on our floor at night, make my bed in the morning, and then put the clothes back on the bed.   I sure didn't think this would be a way to convince me to actually fold them before going back to bed!

Is it even worth mentioning that our bed is King size?? Oh dear.

After folding clothes, I also do not stack the clothes along the wall in our bedroom instead of walking them down the hall to the kids rooms.  Nope, that would be pretty slack.  Seriously, the kids can get them in the morning when they awaken, right??  (This may actually be an on going problem- not just this week)

I may or may not have struggled not to doze off at T's baseball game on Monday night.  The same game I did not forget was even on the schedule.  The same day Big Daddy started his new job an hour away from home.  The same night his loving wife may or may not have fallen asleep before she even got to ask him about his day. Sigh.

On Tuesday I didn't have a burst of energy to create the mess in the kitchen.  I did not have supper ready by noon.  I did not bake 6 mini loaves of banana bread or a pan of banana muffins.  I love to bake (NOT).  Our family did not get home so late that we sat down to eat at nearly 10 pm. 

Seriously.  Who does this stuff?

Apparently............me.

What kinds of things did you NOT do this week?

I am so ready

I am ready for summer.  I usually don't like to rush it, as I don't like the overwhelming heat and humidity that we have here.  Although this year, it cannot come soon enough. 

I am ready to........

Sleep in a couple of mornings.  (I am pretty sure I don't look this happy when I am asleep)

 Spend many hours at the pool watching my kids play and catching up with all my peeps

Have time to go run without having to squeeze it in whenever I can

Not have to worry about school.  Or lesson plans.  Or repeating myself to "sit back down",  "shhh-focus on you work".

Take off on a road trip.  I don't care if its across town or across the country.  Just to have the freedom is all that matters.

There will still be swim team and gymnastics, but we will just work around it all.  Big Daddy started a new job today about an hour away, so I suppose we will also travel to Columbia to the Riverbanks Zoo as well.  I am really just ready to have a different routine, one that is just alot more flexible.  All I have to do is make it to the first weekend in June.

I am so ready.

barely breathing

Have you ever gotten news that literally took your breath away?  I mean "gasping for the next breath" news?  I have.  Very recently actually.  My problem is that I don't know what to do with it at all.

Honestly, if I were not compartmentalizing it right now I don't think I would be able to type.  I won't be sharing the news here on my blog, as its not only my story.  Its mostly not my story, but the effect on me and my family is just about overwhelming.  Hence, the compartmentalizing.

If I am being honest I might as well also say that I am struggling with choosing to love.  Yep, cue the flesh.  I know in my heart what I need to do and say, but something inside my heart just won't let go.  I am angry, hurt, sad, exhausted, and bursting at the seams to scream.  But I won't.  Because I know that it would be the wrong move.   

So I stay quiet.

I wait.

Wait for an answer.  Wait for the calm.  Wait for the Lord to work in my heart, so that I can respond the way I know I should.  See, the news that I heard I have heard before.  I have been down this path.  My struggle is in choosing to love and forgive, which will open myself up to being hurt again.  And again. 

The purpose of this post is certainly not to gain pity or to have a "oh woe is me" pity party.  Those few that follow have read past posts that I have written about choosing to love despite what our human flesh wants to do.  I have written about choosing to take the hard road if it meant going against what modern culture tells us we should do.  I am not on the outside preaching in.

I just want to be open and let you know that the things I post about are just things I have learned from not always making the best choices.  See, right now I am in a waiting place of making a choice.  Do I want to walk in the Spirit and do what the Lord tells me I need too?  Nope,  I don't.  I want to have an all-out-adult-sized-toddler-temper-tantrum, kick, scream, and hold my breath until everyone around me feels as hurt and angry as I do.

But I won't. 

I will continue to wait.

I will get through this.

It will pass, and like most things, it just won't seems as big on the other side.

I will hold tight to the living and active word of God that sustains:

1 Peter 5:6-10
6  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time  7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 

8  Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is going through the same kind of sufferings.

10  And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.


Afterall, the enemy is prowling, and I don't plan on becoming his next meal.
Of course, a few extra prayers are always appreciated!

4.19.2000

I remember it vividly like it was yesterday.  Where does the time go?  I mean really, 11 years already?  She came into this world so fast that the doctor came into the delivery with his lunch still in his mouth.  Her little eyes and chin were bruised and she screamed- alot.  For months.  She sat up by the time she was 5 months old,  crawled by 6 months, and walked by 9 months.  There was no stopping her, and once the screaming stopped she was the happiest little angel alive.  

Only 17 months younger than her older brother, she has always been a competitive child, doing everything either when he does or before.  Almost always while smiling. 

It is a joy to be her mother, and I am so proud of the young woman she is becoming.  Though time is moving way to fast for this mama,  I am also very excited to see what the future has for this sweet young lady.

Happy Birthday to my wonderfully sweet angel!!  I love you "A"!!!

I actually do still exist

Sometimes a girl just doesn't have much to say.  Well, I am not that girl, but the last month has been a blur,  and much of what I could say is jumbled up in my brain, not at all ready to be organized into a post. 

Between gymnastics (both girls) and baseball (both boys), we are out and about just about every night.  By the time we get home, eat, showered, laundry, and get all the kids to bed- this mama is T.I.R.E.D.  Not at all in the mood or mind to write a post.   We have been booked every weekend since March 19-20, and will continue on this path until the first weekend in June.  Have I ever mentioned that I really do not like to be so busy?  I have?  Good.

Lots of things have been happening around here.  Lots of decisions have been made.  Mostly good- thank goodness.   Now that I have all of our lesson plans done for the year (and beyond), I hope to have more time to get my thoughts and our crazy lives organized to share!