I really want to write this post that is a long list of reasons why I should be able to sit and have this pity-party I am currently having. I want to tell you all the reasons why I am stressed, upset, frustrated, unmotivated, saddened, annoyed, unproductive, and down right exhausted. However, I won't.
I have been reading Philippians and Romans with my kiddos the last couple of days and while I went into the days wanting to open their little heads and pour in the knowledge, the Lord seemed to teach me instead.
Last night while lying in bed, 2 verses kept coming to mind:
Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
You see, unstead of praying and giving all my baggage and attitude to God, I was (am) carrying it around as some sort of excuse to allow my emotions to govern my attitude. I have always loved the Romans verse. I think its easy to be joyful in hope, and usually have no problem being faithful in prayer- I love to pray! The part I have a hard time putting into practice is the patient in affliction. The past couple of days though, I have mixed the lack of patience with the lack of prayer. Big mistake!!
You see, the thing about attitudes is that they are contagious. Good or bad (unfortunately). By the time I went to bed last night, I realized that my attitude the last couple of days had changed the entire mood of our household. Every other person (big and little) were beginning to be short of patience, joy, and love. To make things worse, I am now feeling guilty because Big Daddy left this morning for 4 days. I can guess that I didn't give him a very nice going away present.
I don't like that I can have that much influence. Why is it that mom's have that ability? All I know is that now I have some cleaning up to do- and its not on my out of control house. I need to go back and use my sin as an example to my kids of how NOT to act, and show them how to ask for forgivness when we mess up.
I am just glad I have this verse in mind as well:
Lamentations 3:22-23 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.