Several years ago, my husband and I were on two different planets. Or so it seemed. I remember during that difficult time telling the Lord all the things He needed to do to make changes in Big Daddy. I couldn't figure out why the changes never happened and I grew more and more frustrated.
One day, the Lord finally asked me to take a look......at me.
Was I choosing to love Big Daddy-even when he didn't deserve it?
Was I choosing to respect him- even if he was being disrespectful?
Was I creating a home where my husband WANTED to be?
Was I being a wife he wanted to be around?
Basically, the Lord was letting me know that instead of focusing on Big Daddy's faults, I needed to work on mine first. Ya know, that whole judging and speck in your eye, plank in my eye thing?? (Matthew 7:1-5)
I learned alot during that time. And something amazing started happening. As I turned my focus on the Lord and what I could do better (what the Lord expected of me as a wife), my view of Big Daddy was different even though he had not changed a thing. Instead of being critical of him, I focused on what I could do to encourage, love, and support him. Hear me- this WAS NOT easy!!
Over time, changes did come. While I was busy choosing my actions and words carefully, the Lord used them to get Big Daddy's attention. All WITHOUT my help. Imagine that. (1 Peter 3:1-4)
Recently, I had the same lesson come up in a different way. Dealing with my 15 year old. Whew. Just the thought is enough to overwhem me! So many times I find myself nagging, repeating, and being sucked in to arguments with my first born. (2 Timothy 2:23)
As a normal mom, I just want to protect my kids. I want better for them. I don't want them to make aviodable mistakes. I want to pop open their heads and fill them with information that will make life easier.
Then I remembered my teenage years and how I didn't listen (hence the reason for the above statements).
I found myself pouring my heart out to the Lord over J and pointing out all the things I thought needed to happen in this young man's life. De ja vu, anyone??
The Lord quickly reassured me that I needed to focus on what I could do that would point my son to Him (what the Lord expected of me as a mother), and leave the rest up to Him.
I need to be a mother whose words, attitude, and actions point my son to Jesus. A mother who makes home a safe place full of love and encouragement......even when all my flesh wants to do is fight back. A mother who allows her kids to fall flat on their faces and with mercy and grace helps them back up. (Eph. 6:4, Prov. 22:6)
Do you have someone that you have been praying for? Someone you want so badly to reach?
Maybe start by asking the Lord if there is anything in you that may need some work. Maybe there is a plank that needs to be thrown into the mulcher. Maybe the way you react isn't of the spirit (Gal. 5:22). Focus on self can be very harmful and dangerous. But if your focus is through God's eyes and not your own, wonderful things can happen.
In the end though, we have to give up control (not that we have any) and trust the Lord. At some point each person has to make up their own mind and choose to follow or change.
Its our job to do everything we can to point them in the right direction, and leave the rest up to the ONLY One who has the power to do anything about it!